笑言相忘于江湖，清风一瞬又忆君。

Every time I showed people about my true and deeper thinking, people were either offended or scared off.
It's really sorry that you can't share or even tolerate my ideas, but I am not going to compromise myself. And I should feel grateful that it just ends in time to minimizae the damages.

How dare you say you love me while you don't even know about me?

To My Old Friends

每当我说，我没有朋友的时候，我都会想起你们——我那遥远的、为数不多的朋友们——想起曾经的点点滴滴，想起，很多——如果允许我把你们称为朋友。

可是，我已不再联系你们。也许我会忽然望着你们亮了的QQ头像失神，也许我会猛然打开邮箱敲击几个字符，也许我会无聊拿起手机翻电话簿而停在你们的名字上，也许……然而，我不会再联系你们，就如同，永远不会寄出的信。

我很抱歉，很抱歉，真的很很抱歉。

不是我过得很好而遗忘了你们，而是我，真的过得很糟糕、很抑郁、很封闭、很狼狈、很……

我很害怕，如果真的相见，我们会很冷，我们会很尴尬，我们会不再是朋友。某些友谊，恐怕真的存在曾经特殊的时候，特殊的地方，特殊的心境下。我是胆小鬼，我更愿意把你们永远留在回忆里。又或者，我们都彼此忘记，会不会也更好呢？

我也不忍心，以我的所有狼狈而消极，来打搅你们。如果你们无动于衷，我定会伤心死；而若你们有动于衷——我又怎么忍心，来打扰你们呢？这恐怕是我能保存的最后的善良了，又或者说，最后的尊严？

我不知道，你们会不会也偶尔想起我，甚至责怪我，这个忘记你们的朋友？

我不怪你们。我除了默默地抱歉，而还能做什么？
我在一个你们看不到的地方，写了一封你们看不到的信。
除了抱歉，还是抱歉。

然而这将是我最后一次抱歉。

我承担不起愧疚，就只有做一个无情的人了。

無題

月明人未眠，
忽聞幽咽聲。
不知誰家女，
藏淚至夜深。

忍不住想起托尔金笔下的精灵的故事来——只有火、利刃和悲伤能杀死一个精灵。原来读的时候，只是觉得这样的故事写得太凄美而富有想象力了。而现在，我想我是真的深深感受到悲伤的杀伤力了。
悲伤，真的如同烈火，如同——锋利而寒冷的刀刃。


我想说，我很孤单，我很孤独。

Our Campus

    Hi, this is our campus. This picuture was part of our homework. I made it from a CAD. I was so proud when one of my classmates asked whether it was drawed by me--he knowed exactly how bad my hand-drawing was and how much I hated hand-drawing, so it couldn't be my work. Actually it was a pure work of computer. I just took advantage of a small trick.

    : )

   In one word, I was so happy to be "praised" by him. He work so hard and he can made exquisitive drawing by hand. Well, it's not important whether he is really that excellent. But I can take him as a good example of dilligent studying.

云

只是忽然想起，很久很久以前，自己也見過同樣的云——那樣一小片一小片的，一點一點漂移在深藍的夜空里……
沒有什麽可多想的了，能夠讓我懷念的，只有那晚的云了。
一片云，既沒有牽掛，也沒有歸屬的家，

Please pretend not to see me when you come across me next time. I just don't want my peak-and-pine looking to be discerned.

秋风叹

秋风瑟瑟，行人匆匆。总是佳节，更觉凄凉。何思何念，何牵何挂。人生如梦，冷月无情。

中秋将近，月亮也一天一天圆了起来。夜里，我总在东南方向看到一颗很亮的星星。我记得原来西南方向也有一颗很亮的星星的，高高悬在空中，可是最近却不常看见了，似乎很早就落了；忍不住觉得很奇怪。
应该只有我这种无聊的闲人，才会每天对着星星发呆罢。

................................................................................................Every dot is a word I want to say.

An Inviting Letter-- from a girl to

Hey, would you come with me? Let's go for a trip!

For all night, I thought about this--I just couldn't get them out of my head. I was, and I am, so eager to go for a trip! I am tired of being "myself", I am tired of my life, I just want to take a leave and go to somewhere else, somewhere unknown and different, and beautiful; I have a long list of places which I want to see, if possible, I even want to have a tour around the whole Earth!

Yeah, I am crazy. I know the old saying that the scenery is no much better in the distant land. But should I be crazy for just once in life? I just want to take a short leave of the present.

"Don't look for any humanity in me, for I don't have any."

Hate me as much as you like. But I'd like to tell you that I don't hate you-- you don't even deserve it-- and I quite enjoy being hated by you!

If you can't understand the different sides existing in me, then you don't know me in the least.

My Paper-cut

My Craft

I don't like snow. It rarely snows in my place; every time it snows, it's like a bustling festifal, which just makes me feel more lonely and empty.

Last Word of Nobody

More than a thousand times, she thought of suicide; and now, this idea is haunting her again. She is so young, only 20. Nevertheless she is so depressed, sorrow never really being out of her heart. She wants death, she knows it. This is a deliberate thought rather than any daredevil impulse.

Maybe she should write some kind of last word, she thought. No one has ever got any idea of how sad and lonely she is; there is a volcano deep down in her heart and now she wants to erupt, in her last moment of life. Where to begin? She speaks to herself, almost inaudibly. She doesn't want to show her weakness, though she might be a thousand times worse than what people had seen and known. Even if she wrote down the whole story, could people really understand? She has recalled their laughing faces and contemptuous eyes immediately which she has seen enough. What else could it be other than a  topic of after-meal conversation for them? They don't comprehend nor care at all. They might say how great sorry they were to hear the news, or blame how unreasoning and lame suicide was, just taking it as a good chance to show their honorable compassion which she detests the most.

Vengeance is one of the reasons why I live. Another is love.

Love Me, Love My Cat

十秒钟 Ten seconds

十秒钟之前，我真的真的有很多很多想说。
五秒钟之前，我想我可以把要说的话简化到100个字了。
三秒钟之前，我想我可以概括到一句话了。
现在，我发现我不想说了。

十秒钟之前会是白描。
五秒钟之前会是叙述。
三秒钟之前会是抽象。
现在是不解释了。

New Here

new here.

Don't stir the demon deep down in my nature; it's no fun and game to challenge a good person's good temper.

hmm，今天帮初中同学代考VB去了。

我想如果不是她叫我回来，我肯定还呆在寝室，要把“液体”食物也吃光才离校回家的。

代考有点小紧张，不过监考老师终归是摆设，太白痴了。题目很正规似的，选择题、判断题、填空题、编程题都有，但是很简单，我很速度地做完了同学的那一份，纠结了一下，还很帅地和同学的同学换了机子，又帮她做了一份。回忆自己以前在VB上花的时间和力气，真的只有感叹一点功夫一点收获。其实我学VB的动力不是考试，而是我想自己做个钟给另一个同学，我希望是指针式而非电子数字式的钟。似乎送钟不吉利，可是我才不管这些呢。hmm，VB考了N次，书还是没看到那一章节来，有点小郁闷。

Each step is a step forward in the process of dying.

You were the sunshine while I belonged to the shadow of moonlight. There was no good or bad,it was just different.

Time flied, memory left, and scars remained.

我就这样一个人坐在阳台上,竟然一下子就好晚了.昏黄的路灯,照现一簇簇雨丝.雨时急时缓,雨声也跟着时轻时重.有时,一雨点雨漂进来,落到脚上...

Your trust was my only reason to be to true.

"Everthing that doesn't kill me makes me stronger."

Give me one good reason and I would die for you.

You are the fire and ice, you burn and freeze yourself to death.

"Even in death, your heart is pure. I've sensed that about you. And that would be a curse."

Will we pass by in the crowd without recognizing each other?

鸢尾花开，且记一日

尤爱蓝紫色的鸢尾


--------------------------------
Post date 2010-8-22
Original wrote on 2010-4-21

I Would Take My Leave

I would take my leave
of all the waiting
and expectation
and hovering
and thou
firmly

I would disappear
little by little
bit by bit
which thou wouldn't peceive
and get hurt

Never say goodbye too easily, for that may be farewell.

Every time I manage to be kind and virtuous, the world would just disappoint me.

Never try to track me; you should know that I am both a good tracker and counter-tracker.

I Saw A Path Lying Into The Woods

I saw a path lying into the woods,
narrow and rugged, and
covered by a carpet of leaves,
with tall trees and wild grass alongside it.
It looked so attractive and secret,
yet so hazardous and seductive!

Compassion shouldn't be a kind of condescended pity;it is a most honorable feeling from your deepest heart, resonated with humanity and love.

How Can They Be So Cold and Cruel?

How can they be so cold and cruel?
How can they turn aside from other's misfortune?
How can they contempt other's suffering like that?
They pretend themselves as the decent and noble; they call the others as losers and cowards; they allege that they just deserve it.
But how can they be so cold and cruel?
Is it because they fortunately never go though what the others've gone though? Like the normal can hardly have a deep understanding about the handicapped, the wealthy can seldom know the feelings of the starving.Therefor they can be so easy at it!

I would just refuse to acknowledge the message if I hadn't been told formally, despite that I had known it via other way accidentally.

You can't save me from my cruelty, just as you can't heal me of my sorrow.

You won't break your way and pause for me, will you? Thus nor will I. That's fair.

She Is Not My Friend

She is not my friend,
I tell you, I warn you.
She would never take my behalf into consideration.
She would twist my word consciously or unconsciously.
She would sell me out for her own purpose.
I didn't exaggerate that.
Things are not as simple as they appear.
You should know that.
Therefor you should not rely on her,
anything about me;
at least you should have a second thought.
Why should you believe her instead of
me, or yourself?
Haven't you seen enough tragedies?
Then how can you be the same stupid and senseless?

----------------------
Post date 2010-8-22
Original wrote on 2010-3-26

Never count on me for I am erratic myself and I will disappoint you; that's the only true thing I can tell you.

My Vagrant

Oh, my vagrant, my lord

What's that concealed in your eyes?

I've seen

I've seen your tears

your invisible and

precious

tears

For I know your story

don't you know

but I know your story

I know your story

your proud and

sad
story

-----------------------------------

Post date 2010-8-22

Original wrote on 2010-3-17

How can you catch a cloud and hold it in your arms?

Fight when you can win, run away when you can't; there is no morality and principle anyway, all is fair in a war.

It was just because I'd never thought of deceiving you despite my being a good liar.

"But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

叹落花

深居不知春来早，
偶出乍见花满枝。
落英缤纷依依然，
惟叹花开不等人。

2010年3月12日  22:12
--------------------------------------
Post date 2010-8-16

Why can't get away from all the memory and past?

Why shrink? I've just poured out my darkness in essays so I can be light in life.

       我快爆发了，我认为最可恶的有关打电话的行为是，
       某人用不是它自己的手机打电话过来，却从来不首先报上名来，直接就狂讲一通，弄得我半天反应不过来。你不能要求人人都对你的声音时刻铭记于心吧！何况电话里声音难免有变化。不好意思，我亏心事做多了，突然一个“陌生”的电话号码过来狂讲一通，我神经接受不住，可以吗？
       然后吧，每次借手机给某人，它打电话出去也从来不自报姓名。对接电话的人来说，不爽的理由同上。对我这个手机主人本人来说，也是非常不爽。你拿着我的手机号码说话，又不说是你，可以约等于你冒用我的身份吧。尤其对于一些两人都认识的但又不十分熟的人，可能需要联系讨论的事情也就那么多，接到你拿我的号码打过去的电话，十有八九就把你当成我了。你确实没拿我的号码干什么坏事，可不愿意被冒认被冒用的心情，也是合情合理的吧。
       哎哎，好好和你说吧，你根本不在意、理都不理；我生气严肃和你讲吧，直接又变成我小气了；最后还被反讽一句“你想得太多了吧”。我在想你的“下次不借你手机了”会不会直接演化为“下次有事也不打电话给你了”。
       我好无辜啊 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   
       细节体现礼貌，小处蕴含体贴；
       当我们下次借用其他人的手机号码打电话的时候，尤其应该首先自报姓名！
       当我们拿着自己的号码打电话出去的时候，也该想到也许有的人为了节约，关闭了来电显示功能！