Feminist and Feminism

I said that I am a feminist, and people cast a queer eye on me. It’s really quite interesting. One of my friends said that I could still control the situation if I be with someone. I knew she was well-meaning and cared about me. However, I didn’t answer any more.

What is your idea of feminist and Feminism? That’s a question I intend to raise for a long time.

Well, let’s start from somewhere else. What do you think of slaves and slaveholders? Yeah, it is well-known that being slaves is miserable, pitiful, painful, etc. But how about the slaveholders? Well, they are said to be joyful and comfortable, unconcerned to the fact that they built their happiness on somebody else’s unhappiness, and they are generally condemned. But if given to be slaves or slaveholders, however, a majority of folks would gladly choose to be the latter one. I don’t judge them. They are quite prudent and natural to draw on the advantages and avoid disadvantages. But does anybody have any questions?

Are being slaveholders really that happy and fine? I don’t think so. On one hand, they were slaveholders; one the other hand, they were also slaves to the upper slaveholders. No one could absolutely escape the gigantic circle and background of slavery. They were prisoned, not only physically but also mentally. More tragically, they were prisoned by themselves. How pathetic a human was whose mind thought slavery was right and just? To borrow some quotes from the history books, both slaves and slaveholders were the product of and confined by the era, the history, the superstructures, and the underdeveloped productive force, etc. Well, I am not in favor of these prim books with political tones, but I do think this view is quite penetrating and right.

However, from the perspective of any modern individual with the least idea of independence and liberty, he would not love to be a slaveholder, he would not choose between being slaves or slaveholders, he would detest these options and be amazed at this very proposition, he would detest this idea of slavery.

Now let’s get back to the point of feminist and feminism. To make it clear in the first place, I don’t need to control the situation, I don’t need to control anybody.

I don’t need anybody to do my work; it would be an insult to my ability and interference to my self-reliance. I don’t need anybody to accompany me every minute and to everywhere and in every activity, it would be an intrusion to the personal space of each other. I don’t need anybody to admire and sing compliment to me, it doesn’t increase or reduce my self-assurance in the least and I feel the same confidence and positive about myself and my life without it. I don’t need anybody to console me as if I were an vulnerable infant, if I fell down, I would pick myself up before I burst into tears, if I wept, I would wipe my tears with my own hands, if I got hurt, I would heal myself.

I don’t wait for anybody to help me, I help myself.

It’s not superman-ism or superwoman-ism, it’s not about sex discrimination but what a grown-up and independent and modern person should do. The mechanism is similar with that of the interrelation of slaves and slaveholders.

I will not be a slave, who lose her independent identity either economically or emotionally, and live at the mercy of anybody else. Only a petty tyrant would like absolute obedience and only an incapable person would like lamb slaves. I would not presume other people to be that stupid and narrow minded.

Nor will I be a slave holder who manipulates people around. If I did, I must be in extreme boredom and great vanity, and I must dislike him, or I wouldn’t treat him like that. But wouldn’t it be especially pathetic for me too to invest my time and energy on somebody whom I didn’t really care at all? It’s not wise economically either since life is short and that we should spend our time on something more meaningful.

In addition, here is an implicit widespread misunderstanding about femininity, especially among many ladies themselves. However, it doesn’t mean to be small and weak but on the contrary to be considerate, careful and thoughtful. The essence behind it comes down to nothing magic but sincere respect. Anyway, your appearance may be weak, it’s ok and fine, but your inside heart must be strong.

What is feminist and Feminism? When I said feminist and Feminism, I didn’t mean to raise any unfair enmity against men. Feminism is not any form of radical parochialism.

It is the positive and modern view towards human and life.

It is about self-reliance and self-assurance and independence.

It is about respect towards both others and yourself.

It is the belief that people should help themselves rather than wait for anybody else or God or Fate to rescue you.

It is the idea that you do not have to comprise ourselves for what other people think to be proper.

It tells us that you do not have to cater to anybody’s preferences and lose your true self.

It may be sweet and nice to have someone to share your life, but when you were alone, you should not feel pity about yourself or abandon yourself to despair.

You can make your decision, you can handle your life, and you can live a wonderful life.

All is up to you.